The Race to 1000 Pages - See how your favorite cow stacks up in the Kiwi Farms Cannonball Run

[my penis is on fire]

This thread was inspired by Jason "Pirate "Maldavius "Thor" Figtree" Software" Hall's thread hitting 1000 pages in the span of 420 days. Wondering if that was some sort of record, I decided to look through most of the 1000+ page threads and see how long it took for them to make it there, then compiled it into this leaderboard.

Spoiler: Disclaimer

This does not currently include any threads from Off-Topic or Autistic Thunderdome. Might try and add them later if there's interest.

RACE TO 1000 PAGES LEADERBOARD

Rank	Thread	Days	Years / Months / Days	OP	Page 1000	Board	Individual Cow?
1	Sam Hyde's Fishtank.live General	36	1 Month 6 Days	4/18/23	5/23/23	IF	N
2	Weeb Wars	54	1 Month 26 Days	2/22/19	4/16/19	GW	N
3	Phil Burnell / DarksydePhil #2*	112	3 Months 20 Days	11/10/21	3/1/22	DSP	Y
4	Lucas Roberts / Keffals	147	4 Months 25 Days	3/26/22	8/19/22	SD	Y
5	Tiffany Skylar Johnston / emoboyfucker69	290	9 Months 17 Days	8/6/24	5/22/25	ITG	Y
6	Brianna Wu / John Walker Flynt	321	10 Months 17 Days	8/21/16	7/7/17	SD	Y
7	Austin Curtis Peterson / BossmanJack	328	10 Months 23 Days	8/23/23	6/25/24	LC	Y
8	Jason "Thor" Hall / PirateSoftware	420	1 Year 1 Month 24 Days	5/24/24	7/17/25	IF	Y
9	Kevin Gibes / TransSalamander	442	1 Year 2 Months 17 Days	1/15/20	3/31/21	SD	Y
10	Nick Fuentes	457	1 year 3 Months 2 Days	1/6/20	4/27/22	DS	Y
11	Russel Greer	463	1 Year 3 Months 6 Days	5/1/17	8/6/18	LC	Y
12	Jonathan Yaniv / Jessica Yaniv	488	1 Year 4 Months 2 Days	11/9/18	3/10/20	SD	Y
13	Guillaume Labelle / Sophie Labelle Verville	531	1 Year 5 Months 15 Days	2/1/16	7/15/17	SD	Y
14	Lou Gagliardi / Ash Franzetti	539	1 Year 5 Months 23 Days	2/17/20	8/8/21	AC	Y
15	Andrew Dobson	542	1 Year 5 Months 25 Days	1/13/16	7/7/17	LOH	Y
16	Trannies posting their L's Online	562	1 Year 6 Months 15 Days	2/10/23	8/24/24	SD	N
17	Chantal Sarault	666	1 Year 9 Months 27 Days	7/30/17	5/26/19	DF	Y
18	Alex Mahan / YandereDev	683	1 Year 10 Months 12 Days	4/10/16	2/21/18	LC	Y
19	Tenacious Unicorn Ranch	718	1 Year 11 Months 16 Days	3/14/21	3/1/23	CW	N
20	Amberlynn Reid	720	1 Year 11 Months 21 Days	8/19/16	8/8/18	DF	Y
21	Soyjak.Party / The Sharty	731	2 Years Exactly	1/23/23	1/23/25	CW	N
22	Gorl World + Haydur Nation	769	2 Years 1 Month 9 Days	4/20/20	5/28/22	DF	N
23	Patrick Sean Tomlinson	772	2 Years 1 Month 10 Days	1/20/20	8/15/22	ITG	Y
24	Emily Nicole Cassidy / SamanthaPrater	851	2 Years 3 Months 30 Days	12/24/22	4/22/25	LC	Y
25	Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets	864	2 Years 4 Months 13 Days	12/10/20	4/22/23	DS	N
26	#Comicsgate	883	2 Years 5 Months 1 Day	1/6/18	6/6/20	CW	N
27	Anna o' Brien / Glitter + Lazers	904	2 Years 5 Months 23 Days	2/29/20	8/20/22	DF	Y
28	Ashton Joel Parks / PPP	915	2 Years 6 Months 1 Day	5/10/20	11/10/22	DS	Y
29	Tranny Sideshows on Social Media	965	2 Years 7 Months 22 Days	8/6/17	3/27/20	SD	N
30	SRS and GRS Surgeons	1034	2 Years 10 Months 1 Day	9/26/20	7/26/23	SD	N
31	Kino Casino	1045	2 Years 10 Months 10 Days	1/19/22	11/28/24	GW	N
32	Brad Watson	1052	2 Years 10 Months 17 Days	12/30/14	11/15/17	LC	Y
33	Jacob Lawrence Alley / Secret Gamer Girl	1063	2 Years 10 Months 30 Days	9/1/16	7/30/19	SD	Y
34	Pamela Swain / DocHoliday1977	1074	2 Years 11 Months 8 Days	7/11/18	6/18/21	BP	Y
35	Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw	1125	3 Years 29 Days	8/30/18	9/27/21	SD	Y
36	Random Chris Updates	1165	3 Years 2 Months 10 Days	1/29/16	4/7/19	CWC	N
37	Chance J F Wilkins / Cyrax	1233	3 Years 4 Months 15 Days	4/27/21	9/10/24	ITG	Y
38	Jude Valentin	1242	3 Years 4 Months 24 Days	9/7/19	1/30/23	DF	Y
39	Melanie Herring / Purplekecleon	1378	3 Years 9 Months 9 Days	10/28/14	8/5/18	AC	Y
40	Nicholas Robert Rekieta	1392	3 Years 9 Months 23 Days	2/27/19	12/19/22	GW	Y
41	Phil Burnell / DarksydePhil	1399	3 Years 9 Months 27 Days	5/17/13	3/15/17	DSP	Y
42	SJW Art and Extremes	1401	3 Years 9 Months 30 Days	3/15/15	1/13/19	CW	N
43	Carl Benjamin / Sargon of Akkad	1407	3 Years 10 Months 6 Days	3/10/16	1/15/20	GW	Y
44	IP2 Community	1412	3 Years 10 Months 12 Days	12/2/20	10/31/24	IF	N
45	What If?	1539	4 Years 2 Months 19 Days	2/3/13	4/21/17	CWC	N
46	Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort	1573	4 Years 3 Months 21 Days	1/18/16	5/8/20	DS	Y
47	Zoe Quinn	1629	4 Years 5 Months 16 Days	11/7/15	4/22/20	LC	Y
48	NeoGAF & ResetERA	1634	4 Years 5 Months 20 Days	5/17/15	11/5/19	CW	N
49	Autumn Neville / Puppychan	1742	4 Years 9 Months 8 Days	5/31/20	3/7/25	AC	Y
49	Lucas Werner	1742	4 Years 9 Months 8 Days	2/3/16	11/9/20	LC	Y
51	Rebecca Marie Hernandez-Gerber	1754	4 Years 9 Months 20 Days	11/3/16	8/22/21	BP	Y
52	"Mad at the Internet"	1776	4 Years 10 Months 11 Days	10/26/18	9/5/23	GW	N
53	Dax Herrera / Dick Masterson	1807	4 Years 11 Months 11 Days	10/23/18	10/3/23	GW	Y
54	Jerry Peet / Lily Orchard	1870	5 Years 1 Month 13 Days	3/12/16	4/24/21	AC	Y
55	Rainer Winkler / Drachenlord	1921	5 Years 3 Months 3 Days	6/16/18	9/8/23	IC	Y
56	Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack	1930	5 Years 3 Months 11 Days	10/16/15	1/26/21	LC	Y
57	Anisa Riyadh Jomha & THE RAPED	1933	5 Years 3 Months 17 Days	1/5/18	4/21/23	BP	Y
58	James Augustine / Mister Metokur	1949	5 Years 4 Months 1 Day	9/12/16	1/12/22	GW	Y
59	Onision / James Gregory Jackson	1951	5 Years 4 Months 3 Days	9/10/14	1/12/20	BP	Y
60	Tess Holliday	2015	5 Years 6 Months 5 Days	3/3/16	9/7/21	DF	Y
61	Jim Sterling / James "Stephanie" Sterling	2099	5 Years 9 Months	11/21/16	8/20/22	IF	Y
62	Tommy Tooter	2152	5 Years 10 Months 20 Days	3/31/16	2/19/22	LC	Y
63	Samantha Violet Bushart	2190	5 Years 11 Months 29 Days	8/1/18	7/29/24	DF	Y
64	Random Thoughts & Questions	2191	6 Years Exactly	4/3/13	4/2/19	CWC	N
65	Jaron Seth Bloshinsky / Jazz Jennings	2238	6 Years 1 Month 15 Days	1/21/19	3/7/25	SD	Y
66	Steven Jason Williams / Boogie2988	2415	6 Years 7 Months 9 Days	6/27/14	2/4/21	GW	Y
67	Kailyn Marie Hughes/Wilcher / ForeverKailyn	2638	7 Years 2 Months 20 Days	3/8/14	5/27/21	DF	Y
68	Josh Saunders / KingCobraJFS	2639	7 Years 2 Months 21 Days	7/20/16	10/10/23	LC	Y
69	4chan	2687	7 Years 4 Months 9 Days	12/9/17	4/17/25	CW	N
70	Fat Acceptance Movement	2759	7 Years 6 Months 21 Days	9/27/13	4/16/21	DF	N
71	Steven Bonnell II / Destiny	2818	7 Years 8 Months 16 Days	3/16/17	12/1/24	GW	Y
72	Furry Fandom and Drama General	2862	7 Years 10 Months 1 Day	6/1/13	4/1/21	AC	N
73	Reddit General	2880	7 Years 10 Months 17 Days	3/7/15	1/23/23	CW	N
74	Zachary Antolak / Zinnia Jones	3110	8 Years 6 Months 5 Days	4/3/16	10/7/24	SD	Y
75	Noah Antwiler and Rachel Baker / Spoony	3271	8 Years 11 Months 15 Days	4/21/13	4/4/22	LC	Y
76	Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka	3436	9 Years 4 Months 27 Days	6/14/13	11/9/22	LOH	Y
77	"ADF" / Philip Vincent Haskins-Delici	3575	9 Years 9 Months 14 Days	6/12/15	3/25/25	SD	Y
78	Munchausen's by Internet	3660	10 Years 7 Days	1/21/15	1/27/25	BP	N

*DSP was already a well-established cow when this thread was made so it's not the same circumstances as the others, but it's still a single-cow thread that hit 1000 pages in a short timespan, so I'm keeping it up there. DSP Thread #1 comes in 41st.

# of Finishers per Board

Board	Finishers
Stinkditch	13
Lolcows	11
Deathfats	9
Grift Wars	9
Community Watch	7
Animal Control	5
Beauty Parlor	5
Da Sektur	4
Internet Famous	4
CWC	3
Internet Tough Guys	3
DarkSydePhil	2
Lolcows of History	2
Internationale Clique	1

Average: 1449.1 Days
Standard Deviation: 913.5 Days

 

[Rango Dango]

As a part of the Zoeynigger community I want to say that it's a great honour to be in the top 5 of this list.

 

[neger psykolog]

Lol you used the 2nd DSP megathread. I think it too him like a few years to reach 1000 pages on the original mega thread.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

I remember the Weeb Wars thread being so fast to get to 1000, but I had no idea it did it in half the time the second DSP thread did. Can't even remember how much of the DoXémon 'Dex we got filled out before then. Man, where does the time go?

Truly appreciate the autistic topic, fren. Helps put things into perspective, especially for the time-frame.

 

[my penis is on fire]

Lol you used the 2nd DSP megathread. I think it too him like a few years to reach 1000 pages on the original mega thread.

Noted. Is the original DSP thread still up anywhere?

 

[Epikusername4]

kingcobrajfs took like 2 and a half years to get 10 pages

 

[crunk connoisseur]

Noted. Is the original DSP thread still up anywhere?

Link
First post May 18, 2013, 1000th page starts (currently) with post from Mar 15, 2017.

 

[Looney Troons]

I love data so this thread was fun to read over. Thanks for producing the numbers!

 

[Croak & Caw]

If only 4chan hack happened sooner, #68

 

[my penis is on fire]

Link
First post May 18, 2013, 1000th page starts (currently) with post from Mar 15, 2017.

Added. Thank you!

 

[Hooked on phobics]

It took some industrial grade autism to basically do bean counting statistics for lolcow thread speed, but I'm glad you did this regardless. and being in top10 is very noteworthy for mald

 

[JustSomeDong]

Wondering if that was some sort of record, I decided to look through most of the 1000+ page threads and see how long it took for them to make it there, then compiled it into this leaderboard.

You have autism.
Its the kind of autism I approve of, if that's any consolation.

 

[Welfare Bum]

The Greer V Moon lawsuit thread took only a year and seven months to reach a thousand pages despite constantly getting locked and having posts deleted because people kept being retarded.

 

[Crabpuncher]

The Greer V Moon lawsuit thread took only a year and seven months to reach a thousand pages despite constantly getting locked and having posts deleted because people kept being retarded.

I'm assuming you lost at least 3 accounts there.

 

[Welfare Bum]

I'm assuming you lost at least 3 accounts there.

I've been a MATI viewer and lurker for a while. I know how to behave.

 

[McMitch]

Tomlinson being at 23 to Rekeita’s 40 makes the former’s felting for LotY all the funnier.

 

[neger psykolog]

Link
First post May 18, 2013, 1000th page starts (currently) with post from Mar 15, 2017.

Yeah but this is bullshit because the other cows never got a forced 2nd thread once they hit 10k pages (due to slow forum speed). DSP has had a "handicap" placed on him unfairly.

Therefore you should include both DSP megathreads, and if possible you should make the highest achieved one in 4th place (which is a long running joke)

TLDR: it's not DSP's fault his threads are so successful they break the forum software.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Holy shit, that's some impressive research, my dude! How long did it take?

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

for anyone wondering https://kiwifarmsaaf4t2h7gc3dfc5ojh...hreads/us-politics-general-2.210076/page-1000 US Politics General 2 went to 1000 pages in 15 days